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Every night Lao-Tzu went to the pub and drank beers, two Guinness’s, three rum & cokes, three gin & tonics, sculled two glasses of red, had two shots of tequila, had a double ouzo and coke, he smoked cigarettes and would go into the bathroom to do cocaine and piss and to do a poo. At the end of the night Lao-Tze would sit there for an hour with a beer leering at everyone, then caught an Uber home and had a dreamless sleep. Lao-Zi never wrote the Tao Te Ching and died of alcohol-related cancer. He was reincarnated as a butterfly.
Jason Phu, 2017